


Edge

by SerenStone



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Dissociation, F/F, F/M, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 19:52:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13911012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenStone/pseuds/SerenStone
Summary: Kae Mag Raith's baby was stolen from her and she isn't about to stand for it.Tags will update as necessary.





	1. Emergence: Escape

The frozen air around her hissed and rushed away as she gasped, stumbling forward and barely catching herself before her chin found the floor. Her lungs burned as she choked on the tightness in her throat, struggling to breathe. Shivering and scrambling, fighting her limbs for enough control to stand, she managed to get her hand on the lever and tug at it until it finally flipped. The pod hissed open and she can’t remember when she ended up back on her knees.

_Nate. Oh, Nate._

Transfixed, she stared at the ruination of his eye, the destruction left by the bullet seemed etched in marble as a result of the ice encrusting his body. Slowly she became aware of the monotonous drone of the facility’s automated intercom and somehow she was certain that it was only because of shock that it sounds so tinny and distant. With an odd sense of detachment she noted the chill as she turned Nate’s hand in her own, gently retrieving the ring she had placed there less than a year ago. 

“I’m sorry,” she breathed, turning just enough to pull the lever. “I’ll see you buried as soon as I can.” She couldn’t look away from the bullet hole. “I have to find Shaun first.”

Turning back toward the entrance, she slipped Nate’s ring into a pocket on her suit. She did her best to ignore her own trembling as she moved through the room to the terminal, her fingers moving through the input sequence based on instinct rather than intentional choice. She breathed into her rolled fingers for warmth as the screen revealed its data. _Remote override._ Frowning, she made her way out of the room in search of other, living, people. 

What she found was a sick sort of glass-fronted mausoleum. Fourteen pods, and all but two filled with a dead body and of the other two one was hers and the other was empty. So many faces she only just remembered from their new neighborhood. So many dead, carved from ice and encased in steel and glass. _Decontamination. Right._

Eventually she rounded a corner and found herself faced with what looked like a roach the size of a skateboard. The next thing she knew, the roach was dead at her feet and there was a telescoping security baton in her hand. She stared at the weapon for a long moment, recognizing the item itself from all the times she had seen them on the equipment belts of law enforcement officers but entirely lost as to how it had gotten into her hand. Slowly she convinced her body to let go of its defensive position over the enormous bug. After a bit of looking around, she found a spot on a nearby table with a gap in the dust that was the right shape for the baton. With a deep breath, she decided that having Shaun had turned the little bit of defensive training Nate had given her into instinct. She let some of the tension leak from her body and reminded herself that Nate had said she had better reaction times when her body was loose, relaxed. After some consideration she decided that using the baton wasn’t the same as stealing it and she adjusted her grip on it before moving forward.

Her relaxation lasted until she found more giant bugs that wanted to eat her in the next room and disappeared entirely when she saw the human skeletons on the floor. She burst through the next door to get away from them only to find another skeleton, this one with a pistol lying next to it and a hole in its skull. Choking back bile, she moved to put the large desk in the room between herself and the body and searched the room for a way out but only found what looked like a bedroom and a door that refused to budge. Closing her eyes, she slowly admitted to herself that she would need to access the dead man’s terminal to see if it could control the door.

“Excuse me,” she said quietly as she pulled the toppled chair out from under the body and righted it before the terminal. Overseer. Cryolator. Log. Evacuation Tunnel. Reading through the entries was sickening, if enlightening. This place was never meant to be a safe haven as she’d been told; it was a science experiment dressed up as humanitarian aid. Sighing, she triggered the door controls before turning and collecting the Overseer’s pistol and ammo. If these people were going to cause the deaths of at least thirteen innocent people and possibly the abduction of her son she was no longer concerned whether or not she was stealing from them. Besides, it wasn’t like the dead could report her to local law enforcement. If nothing else, the courts could deduct the value of these items from the total amount she would wring from Vault-Tec when she sued them to hell and back.

Shaking herself, she leaned back in the chair and stretched out her fingers one by one, looking around the room. On a whim she decided to investigate the locked door between her and the Cryolator case. Humming thoughtfully, she looked through the room again and returned with a few bobby pins clutched in her hand. She spread one open and slipped it into the lock, using it to manipulate the tumblers while she used the back of another to turn the barrel. When it took less than a minute to hear the lock click open she blinked, then grinned and gave herself a brief round of applause. Emboldened by her success, she wasn’t frustrated by the lock on the Cryolator case itself or that it took nearly five times as long to open it. Another round of applause later she realized she didn’t have enough hands to carry everything. She ducked into the Overseer’s room and rummaged around until she came up with a belt and a toiletries bag. The belt went on her waist, the ammo and bobby pins went into the bag, and the bag hung on the belt with the baton and pistol tucked into the belt. Satisfied, she finally retrieved the Crylator from its case.

So armed, she stepped confidently through the door only to immediately squeak in fear as a large group of bugs turned toward her at the end of the hall. The first several bursts from the Cryolator missed entirely and a few of the bugs managed to connect with her before they were all dead from the cold.

“More ice sculptures for this place. Motif’s getting a bit tired.”

A few more halls and bugs later she found herself back at the entrance of the Vault. Looking around, she found a small, empty backpack under a table and a useful-looking tool belt on a skeleton whose badge still read Security. Deciding that it might be nice to have a clean change of clothes since they seem to have made off with the clothes she was wearing before they made her put on this tacky suit, she swept several Vault 111 suits still in their packaging into her new backpack and tossed the tool belt in on top. Wishing she had found some food, she looked around one last time before trying to work out the door controls.  
When none of the buttons actually opened the door, it took several minutes for it to occur to her that she might need some sort of key and another five before she considered the little machine on the dead technician’s arm. She turned it over a few times, then drew the key out and inserted it into the control panel. Nothing.

_Right. Power._

Hoping against hope the little thing still had some juice, she depressed the power button. A beautiful, glorious start up screen appeared and she nearly cheered aloud. Her relief buoyed her through the torturous wait as the vault door opened and the lonely elevator ride to the surface. She took a moment to turn off the “Personal Information Processor” that called itself Pipboy and tucked it into her backpack as the elevator rose. 

Her relief melted away into horror as the elevator stilled at the top of the hill overlooking Sanctuary Hills and her eyes adjusted to the sunlight to find not her quiet neighborhood nestled in the trees but a wasteland. The ground was dust, grass-less, with only patchy ground cover that looked totally alien to her. Branchless trees rose out of the landscape like bony, grasping talons. The sky was more yellow than she remembered. The neighborhood below, her home, looked worse than a battlefield. It looked like- like- like no one had been there for generations.

Hoping desperately that this was some sort of nightmare, her feet carried her down the hill from the vault. She shivered at the gate, looking at the dessicated corpses of her neighbors that weren’t allowed into the vault before the explosions but her feet kept walking so she focused on the Cryolator in her hands. It wasn’t until her feet stopped that she looked up and found herself looking at a flowering bush just a little ways down from the gate. They weren’t any sort of flower she’d seen before; they looked like inside-out pine cones made of blue petals. Stunned, she gently plucked one from its stem and turned it over in her hand, wondering. No nightmare of hers would put such an alien yet beautiful thing into her dreams. Her nightmares held nothing beautiful at all. This horror was reality.

Without conscious thought she gathered the rest of the blue flowers and gently settled them into her backpack before continuing down the hill. When she found enormous red flowers the size and near-shape of lily pads at the edge of the stream, she drew them gently from the water and dried them on the fabric of her suit before slipping them in with the blue flowers. She was still trying to ignore the idea of this wasted world being real when she found herself standing next to her old mailbox staring at their robot butler, Codsworth trimming the bushes in front of the crumbling remains of their house and wondering if perhaps this were a dream after all.

“As I live and breathe,” Codsworth gasped, his processed voice taking on a tone of awe and wonder. “Miss Kae! It’s… It’s really you!”

“Codsworth? Codsworth! You’re here!” Kae’s grip on the Cryolator relaxed as she slowly remembered herself.

“Well of course I’m still here. Surely you don’t think a little radiation could deter the pride of General Atomics International? But you seem the worse for wear. Best not let the hubby see you in that state. Where is sir, by the way?”

Almost, she managed to restrain the flinch that shook through her body. Codsworth’s floating eyes tracked her as she stumbled a bit before moving to the wall of the house to lean the Cryolator against the framing. “He,” her throat started to seize and she swallowed several times. “Nate didn’t make it, Codsworth. He was killed by the people who kidnapped Shaun.”

“Mum, these things you’re saying. These terrible things. It’s worse than I thought,” he hummed to himself. “You’re suffering from hunger-induced paranoia. Not eating properly for two hundred years will do that, I’m afraid.” She stared at him in silence for long enough that he continued. “I- I believe you need a distraction. Yes! A distraction, to calm this dire mood. It’s been ages since we’ve had a proper family activity. Checkers. Or perhaps charades. Shaun does so love that game.”

“Codsworth,” she said slowly. “You’re acting a bit strange. What’s wrong?”

“I- Oh mum, it’s been just horrible! Two centuries with no one to talk to, no one to serve. I spent the first ten years trying to keep the floors waxed, but nothing gets out nuclear fallout from vinyl wood. Nothing! And don’t get me started about the futility of dusting a collapsed house. And the car! The car! How do you polish rust?”

Kae reached out and grabbed Codsworth’s metal claw. “What do you know, Codsworth?” she asked as gently as she could.

“I’m afraid I don’t know anything, mum. The bombs came, and all of you left in such a hurry. I thought for certain you and your family were… dead.” He paused as if taking a great gulping breath. “I did find this holotape. I believe sir was going to present it to you. As a surprise. But then, well, everything happened.”

She turned the holotape over in her hands after he passed it to her, looking for a clue as to what it might be. “What is it?”

“I believe it’s a private message for you. My etiquette protocols would not permit me to play it for myself.”

Kae looked up at him and finally asked the question she’d been mulling over. “Two hundred years, Codsworth. Are you sure?”

“A bit over two hundred and ten actually, mum. Give or take a little for the Earth’s rotation and some minor dings to the ole’ chronometer. That means you’re two centuries late for dinner!” he laughed. “Perhaps I can whip you up a snack? You must be famished.” He sounded so hopeful that Kae nodded mutely. “All right, you caught me, mum. The refrigerator’s broken, so we’re all out of fresh fruits and vegetables. But not to worry! We have plenty of preservative-rich food. Fancy Lad snack cakes and the like.”

“Sounds great,” she agreed, barely listening. He hovered away whistling happily to himself and she sat down in what passed for grass to think. Two hundred and ten years would certainly explain the state of the Vault-Tec staff in the vault: no skin, no muscle, nothing but bone and the ragged remains of clothing. That length of time plus the introduction of radiation would also account for such wild variation in plant life as the strange flowers and scraggly ground cover she’d found. It could also mean that her son, her Shaun might already have died of old age. Nothing in the vault had given her any indication of how long it had been since he’d been taken.  
Codsworth returned and passed her a box of Fancy Lads Snack Cakes and a can labeled Purified Water. Kae began eating mostly to please him but by the time the box was empty she was glad she’d eaten and greedily gulped down most of the water.

“Mum? I have had an idea,” Codsworth proclaimed as she finally began to slow down.

“Let’s hear it.”

“Let’s search the neighborhood together. After all, sir and young Shaun may turn up yet. They are- They’re my family too.” 

“Have you seen anything dangerous?” she asked idly, toying with the lip of the can to disguise how her hands shook.

“Oh, just the usual, mum. Pesky neighborhood dogs and mosquitoes. Shall I investigate?”

Kae stood and stretched, one hand on her lower back, before she finished the rest of the water and grabbed the Cryolator. “All right. Lead the way.”

“Proud to serve, mum!” Codsworth cried, delighted. “Initiating search protocols.” Codsworth lead her on a hunt through the neighborhood, handily assisting her in dispatching the hideous and enormous mutated bugs that had infested a number of the homes. By the time they looped back to their own house Codsworth had lost his good cheer. “They’re really gone,” he said, somehow producing a gulping sound. “Aren’t they? Oh mum.”

“Thanks for trying, Codsworth,” she managed, grabbing his claw again. 

“What happened, mum?” His other two arms flailed a bit, expressing his distress. “How could it be that sir is dead and Shaun is gone?” he wailed.

She turned and walked into her home, ruined and empty without her family, and settled down in the remains of the couch. “The vault was a trick. A trap. We were taken to these pods and told to get into them, that they would decontaminate us and also do some sort of decompression process to prepare us for going deeper into the vault. Only once we got into the pods, they didn’t do any of that after all, they just froze us. Cryogenic stasis experiment. 

“At some point I started to wake up but I couldn’t get out of the pod. I saw some people approach Nate’s pod. He was holding Shaun. They opened his pod and Shaun started crying the moment he could breathe,” she choked and shook herself, taking a minute to shuck her backpack and belt onto the couch cushion next to her. “The woman in a hazmat suit tried to take Shaun from Nate and when he didn’t let her, the man pulled a gun and shot him. And they left and I froze again. And then I eventually woke up and no one else in the vault was alive so I came here.”

“Oh mum,” Codsworth breathed, sounding as choked up as she was.

Unable to stand it she stood and began investigating the ruins of her home. Codsworth had clearly tried to keep it organized if he couldn’t keep it clean. There was a careful arrangement of preserved foods in the kitchen and cleaning products in the washroom. Toiletries were placed in straight lines inside the mirror cabinet in the bathroom. The bed and dresser in Nate’s room were rotting and collapsed, but his helmet and the remains of his uniform were carefully arranged in his closet. 

Kae remembered. They were going to go to the veteran’s hall that night. He was going to give a speech. She was going to be the beautiful, smiling wife, holding their perfect, burbling baby. She was going to wear red; Nate liked her in red. Red dress, red nails, red lipstick, hints of red in her eyeshadow. Tasteful though, not enough to look like a seductress. Just enough to make it clear to him she was in his corner. She used to tease him that she would clash with the red in his hair. Once, he had told her that it just made it clear who she was with.

She turned and left the room in a rush, quickly getting the pipboy out of her bag and powering it up so she could slip Nate’s holotape into it.

A crackle of static. Then her heart soared to hear Shaun’s laugh. The laugh that shook his whole body and he would flail his arms around while his eyes scrunched up with his smile. And quietly underneath, Nate’s chuckle, soft and low. And she could just see them: Nate bending over Shaun on his bed making goofy faces at him as he tried to get that little cap on his head or swaddle him. Tickling his sides just to get him to grin. The laughter slowed and she heard the rasping of fabric before the recording cut. 

Tears falling freely down her face Kae finally turned and walked into the room she’d shared with her son. His crib still stood, though the mobile had fallen off and the little rockets were scattered around the crib. Her bed and dresser and the changing table were little better than the furniture in Nate’s room. Her closet was full of rags and dust and the skeletal remains of shoes, her books long destroyed by time. Dully, she gathered the little rockets from Shaun’s mobile and whatever other mementos she could find. When she reached under the crib she found one of the little wooden blocks they’d gotten for him, this one with the letters N and S. Nate and Shaun. She hiccuped in her sobs, impossibly grateful for the little piece of wood and she clutched it to her chest with her other treasures. The rockets, one of the books she’d read to Shaun, and a mostly intact stuffed bear she had made for him.

“I hope you don’t mind mum,” Codsworth spoke quietly from the doorway. “But I tried to pick up all your jewelry from where the cursed bombs knocked the box off the shelf. I put the box behind some of your old things to conceal it from looters and the like.”

Silently she put her treasures on the changing table and drifted back to the closet, shifting things around until she found a small wooden box - the one her grandfather had made for her. Gently she drew it from the closet and opened it to find about half of her old collection inside. Some of it was quite tarnished with age, but she knew a thing or two about cleaning jewelry from her chemistry studies.

“I don’t mind, Codsworth. Thank you.” Kae struggled for words. “It- it feels good to have something of my old self back.”

“I had hoped it might-” he began but was interrupted by a peal of thunder. It sounded odd to Kae, almost metallic and the echo seemed wrong. “Ah, another radiation storm is it? I can weather these just fine, but I imagine it would be difficult for you. Tell me, mum, do you recall the combination for sir’s cellar?”

“I- yes, I do.” Kae closed the box and grabbed her treasures, heading to the living room to stuff them and the food Codsworth had hoarded into her backpack. She hesitated briefly then hurriedly swept the cleaning chemicals and toiletries into a bucket before snatching her belt and the cryolator and headed into the backyard. The combination lock on the cellar still spun well enough for her to input the code: the date Nate’s contract with the military was supposed to end. Codsworth had to help her open one of the doors but everything inside looked so untouched she nearly wept all over again. The storm was close enough that she didn’t take the time to look closely, just lowered her things inside and formally gave Codsworth permission to enter and then wrestled the door shut again. She used the flashlight on the pipboy to see to lock the doors from the inside and then turned around.

Nate had built his “bunker” before they’d met, based on his experiences in Alaska. For all that he regularly called himself a “simple soldier,” he’d known the war would get worse before it got better and he wanted to be prepared. The place held his personal armory and supplies for what he called a “worst case scenario.” When she moved in, he’d allowed her a shelving unit down here to store her extras to make room for Shaun. Perhaps most important just that moment, there was a cot and sleeping bags.

“Time for a bit of a kip then, mum?” Codsworth asked as she unrolled a sleeping bag onto the cot.

“A nap, at least,” she agreed. “I haven’t done all that much since I woke up in the Vault but I feel as if I’ve been awake for days.”

“It’s as I said, they didn’t feed you properly for two hundred years. Of course you’re exhausted. Sleep well, mum, and we’ll see about getting you fed up when you wake.”

That actually drew a bit a chuckle from her as she stripped out of the vault suit and settled into the sleeping bag. “Thanks, Codsworth,” she said, turning off the pipboy light. “For everything.”

“Proud to serve, mum,” he said quietly, the light from his propulsor casting a dim glow through the bunker. “Thank you.”


	2. Emergence: Equipment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka the one with all the lists

When Kae woke, Codsworth was puttering around nearby. “Ah, good morning, mum. Watch your eyes, now, I happened to find a light.” She shielded her eyes from his direction and then blinked as her eyes adjusted. Codsworth’s light was a battery powered lantern that he seemed to have pulled from Nate’s storage and moved to the cabinet across from the cot. 

“Do you think the storm’s still going?” Kae asked, slowly sitting up.

“I’ve not heard any thunder nor detected additional radiation in a few hours, mum. I believe it may have passed.” He hovered closer and handed her a box of Dandy Boy Apples. “Here’s a bit of a pick-me-up. If you’ll get dressed and open the doors I’ll see about cooking something more substantial for breakfast.”

“Sure, Codsworth. Give me a minute?” She tore open the box and munched on the freeze dried fruit.

“Of course, mum.”

With a snack in her she moved off the cot, smiling when Codsworth averted all three of his eyes. It took a bit of rummaging through the storage bins, but eventually she found a pair of leggings and a sweater that she thought would be warm enough to putter around in the bunker. She slipped them on, along with the boots the vault-tec suit had come with and then she spun the lock open, reciting the code for Codsworth as she did so. Once the doors are open, she climbed up into the sunshine, noting from the sun’s position she must have slept through the night.

“Yes, mum,” Codsworth agreed when she voiced her thoughts. “I do believe you needed your beauty sleep. Now, if I can just get a fire going with a decent pot of water, I believe I can make some breakfast from sir’s supplies.”

It took them no time at all to find enough deadwood for a fire, but Kae delayed Codsworth’s enthusiasm long enough to put a ring of stones and cinder blocks around the small depression in the ground she had chosen for the fire. By that time Codsworth had found a cook pot of what he considered a decent size and they scrubbed it out using the cleaning supplies. He collected a can of water, a box of noodles, and a can of pork n’ beans from Nate’s supply and set about cooking with gusto. 

Meanwhile, Kae headed back down into the bunker. While she knew Shaun could be effectively older than her or even dead, there was still a chance that he was a baby in need of care and she couldn’t ignore that chance. With that in mind, she began taking inventory of what was stored in the bunker.

The shelving unit Nate had given her stood near the stairs down into the bunker. The bottom shelf held several bins of excess clothes and a box of shoes she’d put away while pregnant. Next was a box of her old chem lab supplies from college, Codsworth’s repair and maintenance materials, and her tool kit. Next, a box of books from college and a few of her mother’s sketchbooks. The rest of the shelving unit was taken up with her sewing machine, accessories, crochet hooks, and her fabric stash and yarn collection. 

Just past her shelf was the cot and cabinet. Beyond that were shelves full of Nate’s worst case scenario supplies: non-perishable foods, jugs of water, water filters, tins of tea and coffee, several bottles of rubbing alcohol, several growlers of beer, stacks of first aid kits, more cleaning chemicals, Nate’s tools, hunting and fishing gear, a barrel full of charcoal, a box of tinder, a shoe box of different kinds of locks, stacks of duct tape, a box of seeds, garden tools, a box of paracord, more sleeping bags, blankets, and pillows, and bulk boxes of toiletries, cable ties, super glue, cigarettes, and candles. She found a bin full of sacks of clothes: three outfits of linen clothes and three of woolen clothes for Nate, herself, and Shaun. In a plastic bin she found several guide books on such topics as survival, gardening, survival hunting and cooking, and weapon and armor modification and maintenance.

At the back of the bunker was Nate’s armory, his personal weapons and armor that he had collected mostly previous to their marriage. He spent one afternoon telling her what everything was and showing her how to safely handle each of the weapons. He had taken her to the range and shown her how to fire, dismantle, and clean the guns. He was of the opinion that if she was going to live in his home, she would at least know the basics. She counted four pistols, three shotguns, two rifles, and two knives in addition to several cases of ammo and a crate of components to make mines and grenades. A large steamer trunk held a suit of combat armor and a suit of power armor; he had been saving up for a power armor frame when Shaun was born. A metal crate held Nate’s tools for maintaining and modifying his weapons and armor.

_All in all, not a bad start to life after armageddon. Some “simple soldier” you were. Your foresight is going to save my life several times over, and maybe even Shaun’s._

“Breakfast is served, mum,” Codsworth called, disrupting her thoughts. She emerged from the bunker to find that Codsworth had pulled a chair over to the fire for her and he’d managed to not only find a ladle for the pot, he’d found a bowl and a spoon for her and he presented her the bowl with a potholder underneath.

“You remembered,” she laughed, sitting down and taking the bowl on its potholder. “Thanks for helping me avoid burned fingers.”

“Proud to serve, mum,” he repeated, and she could almost hear him grinning from ear to ear.

“Good old General Atomics,” she mused as she blew on a spoon full of noodles, pork, and beans. “Built in a memory that could handle two hundred and ten plus years and still remember the lady who burned her fingers once when she was handed a bowl of soup.”

“Well, mum, between the bowl of soup and your utter inability to properly use an iron, what else was I to do but presume it was necessary to keep you safe from the dangers of extreme temperature?” Kae nearly choked on her mouthful in her laughter as he continued. “If I may say so, it really was for your own good that you activated me. I cannot bear to imagine the condition of your suits and hair in the courtroom previous to my assistance.”

She grinned, eyes still watering from the near miss. “You know, I’d rather not think about that either. You’re a lifesaver, Codsworth.”

“Did you find anything useful in the cellar, mum?”

“Oh, you know Nate, Codsworth. It’s all useful,” she took a moment to blink back tears. “He really wanted to take care of us.”

“Of course,” he said. “Of course.” 

They both went quiet after that. Codsworth used a plate as a lid for the pot and set the pot to the side of the fire to keep warm for her to continue eating as the day wore on. After thanking Codsworth for breakfast Kae wandered back into the Bunker and decided to go through her old books to see if there was anything useful. A number of the books were her old pre-law text books and case studies which were most likely no longer helpful at all. Her collection of chemistry text books from her minor might still come in handy. Biology, physiology, psychology, health and wellness, exercise, and nursing books plus her copy of the EMT basic review manual from when she worked through college would probably be very useful. A few books from her electives - history, literature, writing, drafting, textiles - might not be universally useful but creativity would most likely allow her to apply principles. Her mother’s sketchbooks and Tanakh she’d kept more for sentimental value rather than usefulness. 

Kae sat back on her heels and surveyed the bunker, listening to the sounds of Codsworth’s frame creaking as he moved about above ground. There was enough in the way of supplies here to keep the two of them comfortable for a long time. Or she could pack up and head out to try and find her son. If there were survivors in this wasteland, she was willing to bet they were further south, in or around Boston. She knew which roads would reach Boston, and while she hadn’t walked that far before, surely she could make it there on foot if she planned carefully. Before all of that came the question of what to prioritize: setting up a functional and safe camp from which to venture or the venture itself. While she wanted to simply dash off into the wastes and turn over every rock and question every person she could find in search of her son, it would be counterproductive to find him only to die of exhaustion or exposure. 

Rising, she climbed the steps out of the bunker and wandered through the remains of her old neighborhood, attempting to imagine a survival oriented camp nestled in the broken bones of Sanctuary Hills. Objectively it wasn’t a bad spot: plenty of shelter, building materials, water, land for crops, reasonably defensible. Subjectively, though, she couldn’t find it in herself to stay here - not where she had spent so long imagining a life with her son, a life where she and Nate made things work, a life where things were what they were supposed to be not flowers the size of hubcaps and nothing green for miles around and bugs the size of skateboards. Objectively moving all the supplies Nate had stored was a waste of resources, but if she were to retain her sanity and be able to move on she was relatively certain it was a necessary use of resources. She would put together a pack for traveling and lock the rest back up for when she eventually found a place she was willing to settle.

Kae was already tallying a list of things she’d need to be able to carry with her and calculating how much weight she could handle when she made it back to the bunker. After a moment’s consideration she decided to start by pulling out everything she’d like to have access to and then cull from there. First she cleared off the cabinet counter and made a stack of all the backpacks and other handsfree bags she could find to one side before she examined Nate’s armory. The combat knife, the switchblade, the pistol from the vault, Nate’s prefered revolver, the Cryolator, and the lightest of the shotguns went on the counter. She hefted both rifles before leaning them against the wall near the stairs to get a feel for how they handled. After taking some time to determine the lightest and thinnest to still deliver enough warmth for a cold night, she selected a sleeping bag and blanket and rolled them together. Nate’s camping tent went next to the rifles to see if she could set it up. A coil of rope, a combo lock, the smallest hatchet, the smallest crowbar, and the tools necessary to maintenance the knives and guns were her next selections. She spent thirty minutes curating a med kit to her preferences, and another twenty putting together a travel sewing kit for field repairs and stitches. She even managed to find an old makeup bag that held the sewing kit nicely. A combination cooking-mess kit from Nate’s time in Anchorage fit nicely inside a kettle and she found a small fire kit in a waterproof case that could rest on top of the kit and next to the little fishing kit made of several lengths of line, case of hooks, and a tightly packed net. Last, she managed to fit a satchel of tea and a strainer into the kettle. The fish cleaning knife went on the counter next to the skinning knife. Soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, comb, safety goggles, sunglasses, her glasses, an old case that could hold the sunglasses and eyeglasses, several bandanas, and a coat went on the pile next. 

Kae took a step back and sighed. _Survival of the fittest because the fittest can carry enough gear to survive._ Deciding to deal with her question pile first, she grabbed the rifles and sat down to determine what sort of ammunition they needed: .308 for his hunting rifle, and .45 for his combat rifle. Carrying the rifles, ammo, and tent outside she didn’t immediately see Codsworth and decides to start with the tent to avoid startling him with gunfire. The directions that came with the tent have long since faded beyond legibility and so she spread out all the pieces and tried several configurations before she was satisfied that she had found the correct assemblage. To ensure that she could set up the tent in the dark, she took it all the way down and put it back up several times. 

Codsworth reappeared about the time she decided she could most likely handle the tent in the dark. “Planning a bit of camping, mum?”

“If there are people around, they’ll be in Boston,” she said slowly, sitting back on her heels and swiping her hair out of her face. “I’m not going to find Shaun without help, and it’s pretty likely that kidnappers as particular as they were are working for a larger organization or at least someone with a lot of money. That means I have to go where the people are.”

“The folks in Concord have only chased me off with sticks a few times,” Codsworth ventured.

“Concord? Why would you go to Concord? Wait, you’ve seen people? I’m not the only survivor?”

“Goodness, mum. I went to Concord out of boredom, I suppose. And yes, there are people in Concord, though they’re usually an unsavory looking lot. If I venture out that way at all, I most always hear gunfire.”

Kae considered it as she put the tent into its sleeve. “I suppose I’ll see how things look when I get there. If they’re in the middle of shooting each other I don’t think I want to get involved.”

“That’s probably for the best,” Codsworth agreed. “Ah, what do you need those for?”

Shuffling the rifles around in order to load them, she took a moment to respond. “I don’t remember how these handle and I need to decide what I’m taking with me.” When he didn’t respond, she cast around for a moment until she found an empty can near the fence line and propped it up on the far end of the yard next to hers. Returning to her spot near the cookfire and shouldering the combat rifle, she put a round into the can, tearing a hole in it and shifting it to the side. Unsatisfied, she immediately fired again, hitting the bottom rim of the can at an angle and making it spin up into the air. Grinning, she put the rifle down and jogged back to the can, carefully replacing it on the fence. Once she was back at the cookfire she picked up the hunting rifle and sighted down the scope and laughed. She was far too close to the can to use the scope. Kae walked a couple yards further away before finding a distance she wanted to try and and put a third round into the can. Reloading the hunting rifle took significantly longer than popping a magazine into the combat rifle did, she noted as she walked back toward the cookfire. 

Wordlessly muttering to herself, dropped herself into the chair at the cookfire and ate another portion of the noodles and beans concoction to give herself time to think about her travel pack. Codsworth hovered nearby and she leveled her spoon at him to get his attention. “What are the people in Concord usually up to aside from shooting each other?”

“I believe they are looting the city, mum. I usually spot them rummaging through the ruins.”

“Any sign they actually live in Concord?”

“Now that you say so, no. I wonder where they come from.”

Kae tapped the spoon idly against the bowl. “So scavenging is common these days?”

“Oh yes, mum. Most every person I’ve observed since that cursed day has been engaged in that activity.”

“Any evidence the government still stands? Law enforcement?”

“Not that I’ve noticed, no. The few times I’ve gotten a radio to work there’s been no mention of the President, the Governor, or the Mayor of Boston, nor any aspect of the military.”

“Surely the survivors have formed some sort of provisional government,” she mused. “Again, most likely to get results in Boston.” They were silent as she finished her food and Codsworth took her dishes from her. “I’ll be looking for a new place to settle down while I’m traveling,” she eventually added.

“Whatever for, mum? Sir’s cellar is well stocked and seems an excellent shelter.”

Kae was silent for a long time, staring into the old bones of Nate’s home. “I just can’t stay here, Codsworth,” she admitted quietly. “I just can’t keep seeing everything we lost when I need to be focused on surviving.”

Codsworth was quiet long enough that she started to get concerned. Eventually he sighed. “I understand, I think. With your permission, I’ll say behind and begin planning how best to transport the supplies sir left for us. It would be a pity to see them go to waste.”

It took several breaths for Kae to feel steady again. “Thanks, Codsworth.” When he stayed at her side for longer than she felt comfortable with, she asked, “Could you run the numbers and give me an estimate of how much food and water I’ll need to carry?” 

“Of course, mum. I’ll run the calculations while I wash up.”

Nodding her thanks Kae ducked back into the bunker and selected the largest backpack she could find, one of Nate’s army bags, and began working the straps to fit. That done, she rerolled the sleeping bag and blanket around the tent bag and slipped them into a waterproof bag before tying them to the base of the pack. Into the bottom portion of the pack went the maintenance and sewing kits, the rope, the lock, the crowbar, the hunting and fish knives, the lightest pair of sneakers she had, and a decent pair of jeans, several shirts of varying warmths, scarf, socks, and undergarments. The coat she rolled over top. She emptied the toiletry bag she’d found in the vault of ammo and used it for her comb, bandanas, soap, toothbrush, and toothpaste. The safety goggles and two pairs of glasses went in an exterior pocket for easy access. A waterproof bag cover went into one of the outer pockets. She stuffed all the ammo she wanted to take with her into a tote bag and set it aside, intending to alter the bag to have a closure. The first aid kit she dispersed into her old work bag: semi-rigid and designed to be strapped to a belt, slung over a shoulder, or grabbed by the handles on top, with compartments specifically designed to hold common first aid materials. The first aid kit went on top of the coat along with the mess kit and she planned on fitting her food and water in with them. 

She paused working on her pack to assemble her travel outfit so that she could plan holsters, pockets, and belt pouches. A black button-down under a shirt and a vest with a pair of Nate’s BDU pants she would take in for herself with the boots from the vault. Over top she’d wear the nyco trenchcoat he’d commissioned from her before they’d known she was pregnant once she’d taken it in. In the armory Nate had a bandolier for ammo, a holster for the revolver, another pistol holster that seemed to be more universally shaped, a sheath for the combat knife, straps for the switchblade, and a number of rifle slings. Kae set about altering the the coat, pants, tote bag, straps, holsters, and the tool belt from the vault to fit her while she still had daylight. 

“Based on my calculations Boston is approximately thirteen miles from here. Assuming you walk approximately three miles an hour it should take you less than five hours to get there. I imagine at worst you only need food for a few days in case Boston is disagreeable.”

She blinked at him in surprise. “I really thought it was further away. I suppose that’s what a lifetime with cars teaches you: walking isn’t reasonable because it’s too far.”

“Not at all, mum. While certainly a respectable hike, Boston is quite the achievable goal. You’ll be back with young Shaun in no time.”

Kae smiled to please him rather than out of any particular happiness. “I hope so.” For a moment she considered abandoning her preparations and simply going but it would be better to be prepared and not need the preparation than to get caught out without the tools she needed. After finishing her alterations, including a last minute adaptation of the backpack straps to include some minor cushions, she began sorting ammo into pouches that would attach to her tool belt and bandolier. She was just preparing to attach the combat knife sheath to her boot when she had a sudden thought and dug out the waterproofing spray in one of the crates and carefully applied it to her boots and left them outside the bunker to dry. She didn’t mind puttering around barefoot for a while. While putting the spray back in its crate she found a small tarp that would make a decent lean-to or ground cover and carefully folded it such that it fit in one of the exterior pockets. 

By that time it was getting dark outside and she settled down by the fire to finish off the noodle-beans. While Codsworth cleaned the pot she gathered up all the jewelry, a tube of toothpaste, an old toothbrush, and a soft, clean cloth. Using the paste on the metals and the cloth on the stones, she mentally chose pieces she could part with so that she could put some money together since she hadn’t found any cash in the bunker. If she were fully honest with herself, the jewelry she had worn to please Nate would be some of the first to go; she did not experience the common fascination with the color of gold. She’d keep their wedding bands for Shaun, but the engagement ring should fetch a decent price. She’d keep her ring. It had been passed from daughter to daughter for longer than she could track: the star with a blue stone in the center, all wrapped in olive branches cast in white gold. She’d keep her crescent moon necklace and the pearls she’d gotten for herself as a celebration of passing the bar. The rest she’d part with as she had need. The pieces she was determined to keep went back into the box and the rest she wrapped individually in fabric scraps and put in a small, drawstring bag and the bag went into a pocket on the backpack.

After hefting the pack a few times, Kae gave in and decided to keep both rifles with her. The combat rifle fired quickly and would most likely be invaluable in, well, combat situations. The hunting rifle would be excellent for hunting and for extremely long range situations. She laughed to herself. _It’s in the name, you idiot. This is the point at which Nate would remind me that he was a Simple soldier._ She attached slings to the rifles and shotgun. The hunting rifle she strapped securely to the left-hand side of the pack, knowing that if she were to choose that weapon she would have time to detach it. Using breakaway straps, she attached the combat rifle to the right-hand side of the pack and the shotgun to the bottom of the bedroll such that it would fit between her back and the curve of the bedroll. The Cryolator she attached to a tactical sling so that it would be easy to hand. 

“The fire is banked and I have collected enough firewood for tomorrow. When do you plan on departing, mum?” Codsworth hovered at the edge of the stairs.

“Tomorrow morning,” she said, tugging on a few straps to test them. 

“Will you take the time for breakfast?” he asked hopefully.

Kae grinned to herself and managed not to laugh. “Just for you, Codsworth.”

“Why thank you for seeing to your nutritional needs for my sake, madam,” He whistled happily to himself as he picked through the various food options.

“Would you pull out food for five days for me while you’re over there?”

“Of course, mum.”

While Codsworth began making his selections, Kae began slotting water bottles into available spaces in the pack. 

“Will you resume selling your crafts, mum?” Codsworth asked as his arms finally stilled.

Kae paused and looked up at him. “Do you think there’s a market? If I can’t find a power source for the sewing machine, I’ll have to make it all entirely by hand and that will be much more expensive.”

“I’m not sure. All I know is that every scavenger I have seen has absolutely no sense of fashion.”

“I think that might be because they have to scavenge to survive, Codsworth,” she said, grinning. “It’s a good idea; I’ll see if I can find any interest in Boston.”

“Very good, mum.”

Kae wasn’t about to carry enough fabric to make new garments on her way to Boston, but she could carry a bit of crochet with her. After a quick dive through her collection, Kae came up with a few skeins suitable for scarves and hats and two that were suitable for durable gloves. She tossed the yarn in another tote bag and squeezed most of the air out before slipping it between the folds of the tarp to help keep it from expanding too far. The majority of her hooks and other accessories were still in the little, zippered pencil case she’d kept them in and she tossed that in on top. On a whim she added the wooden block with an N and an S in one of the pockets before packing the food Codsworth had chosen for her: a mix of Cram, Instamash, Noodles, Pork n’ Beans, Salisbury Steak, and Yum Yum Deviled Eggs. When he wasn’t looking, she slipped in a few boxes of Fancy Lads Snack Cakes. 

Finally, Kae closed the entire pack and smiled to herself. “I think I’m ready, Codsworth.”

“You seem thoroughly supplied, Mum,” he noted.

“I hope so. That was kind of the point.” She eased down onto the cot and stretched. “Anything I can do to shave off time between now and finding Shaun is worth the effort.”

Codsworth was quiet long enough that she had already begun to lock up for bed by the time he spoke again. “I remain inspired by your dedication to motherhood, Miss Kae.”

She froze, swallowing thickly before shaking her muscles loose. “Thank you, Codsworth. That- that means a lot, especially from you.” Neither of them found words for their emotions beyond that, and Kae fell asleep to a memory of the tune Shaun’s mobile had played.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU Fallout for a number of reasons, primarily that I'm not particularly familiar with the setting and can only do so much research.
> 
> Kae's Playlist: https://goo.gl/QFGDzh
> 
> I'm new to writing fan fiction and to Fallout! Here's to firsts.


End file.
